Andy Seed - The Silly Book of Side-Splitting Stuff

To the children and staff of Amotherby Community Primary School. This electronic edition published in 2015 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc Published 2014 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc, 50 Bedford Square, London, WC1B 3DP www.bloomsbury.com Bloomsbury is a registered trademark of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc ISBN: 978-1-4088-5079-4
ePub ISBN: 978-1-4088-6740-2 Copyright 2014 Bloomsbury Publishing Plc Text 2014 Andy Seed Illustrations 2014 Scott Garrett Additional illustrations Shutterstock A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library. All rights reserved
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IMPORTANT: The author and publisher recommend enabling SafeSearch when using the Internet in conjuction with this book. We can accept no responsibility for information published on the Internet. Contents INTRODUCTION Adults are always telling children not to be silly. But the truth is that adults are often silly themselves, very silly! This book proves the matter. Its a collection of information and lists about silly people, inventions, food, names, sport and much, much more. If you read it, youll find out just how silly grown ups sometimes are.

But its not just about people: there are loads of funny facts about silly animals, silly words and silly places. Plus there are jokes, poems and things to do all of them wonderfully silly! SILLY ANIMALS Potty pets If you have ever had a pet youll know that they have good days and bad days, just like their owners... Cat burglar A family from Bristol were confused when they kept finding strange items in their house: dishcloths , T-shirts , boxer shorts and a sports bra . It turned out that they had been stolen from neighbours homes by their tabby cat, Norris. He also turned up with half a pizza, a tube of gravy paste and a German sausage. Mountie Python Police were called to a hotel in Canada in 2013 to say that a couple staying there had gone, leaving their pets behind and that the staff couldnt deal with them. Mountie Python Police were called to a hotel in Canada in 2013 to say that a couple staying there had gone, leaving their pets behind and that the staff couldnt deal with them.

When the police arrived they discovered that the room contained forty snakes, all dangerous pythons. Large fries and a shovel, please A horse rider near Manchester was so cross that a McDonalds drive-through wouldnt serve her that she took her pony into the restaurant where it did a large poo on the floor. She was fined. Big Boing Nick Boing loved watching TV, going for car rides and walking to the shops (despite being a rather hefty 140kg in weight). His favourite food was carrots and he lived in a bungalow in Wales. Call the vet A large Doberman dog from South Africa called Nero was keen for his owner to take him on lots of walks. Call the vet A large Doberman dog from South Africa called Nero was keen for his owner to take him on lots of walks.

When he noticed that she was on her mobile a lot, Nero decided to do something about it. He ate the phone. Batty birds These birds are not silly they just sound like they have silly names. The countries in brackets are good places to see them. Noisy leatherhead (Australia) Blue-footed booby (Peru) Golden-rumped tinkerbird (Congo) Bare-faced go-away bird (Tanzania) Spotted thick knee (Ethiopia) Laughing jackass (New Zealand) Gang gang cockatoo (Australia) Purple grackle (USA) Yellow-bellied sapsucker (Canada) Zany zoo tales Are you lion? In China, a mother and son visiting Louhe Zoo were very surprised to hear a lion bark. Monkey see, monkey go In 1935 a zoo attendant at an animal park in New York used a plank to cross a wall and stinky moat over to the large monkey colony to do some cleaning. Monkey see, monkey go In 1935 a zoo attendant at an animal park in New York used a plank to cross a wall and stinky moat over to the large monkey colony to do some cleaning.

While his back was turned, about 170 monkeys escaped using the plank and headed into the city, raiding fruit wherever they went. Whoops. Bear cheek Zookeepers at Knoxville were very surprised when they saw a large black bear climbing the zoos high perimeter fence. This was a wild bear and for some reason the silly animal was breaking into the zoo Slippery penguin A small penguin once escaped from Tokyo Sea Life Park by somehow climbing a four-metre wall and some barbed wire. Normally, escaped animals are recaptured the same day but this cheeky bird enjoyed freedom for over two months, snacking on fish in Tokyo Bay. Amusing animals Well, whoever named these poor beasties was having an attack of the sillies: Pudu (small deer) Flat-headed myotis (bat) Aye-aye (lemur) Obese lily weevil (beetle) Bongo (antelope) Aha ha (wasp) Tiny tuco-tuco (rodent) Crappie (fish) Latin loopiness Many animals have two names: a common name and a scientific name (sometimes known as a Latin name).

Some of the scientific names sound pleasingly nutty, as youll see from this selection: