Macmillan Childrens Books - The Bumper Book of Very Silly Jokes
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- Book:The Bumper Book of Very Silly Jokes
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- Publisher:Pan Macmillan UK
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- Year:2013
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An enormous collection of some of the silliest jokes around!Hundreds of silly jokes on every topic you can think of!
Whats the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You cant dunk an elephant in your tea.
Why did the monster get good marks in his exam? Because two heads are better than one.
What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head? Shelley.
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To all my friends who have been so kind and encouraging, and mean the world to me (they know who they are), to my Graham who has been a total star and with special thanks to Tricia. (JE) 
What did the mouse say when it broke its front teeth?Hard cheese.What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?A sour puss.
Whats the difference between an elephant and a biscuit?You cant dunk an elephant in your tea.Whats black, white and red all over?A blushing zebra.What kind of fish cant swim?Dead ones.How do you communicate with a fish?Drop him a line.
Why did the chicken join a band?Because he had a fantastic pair of drumsticks.Why did the blackbird fly into the library?It was looking for bookworms.
When does a duck get up?At the quack of dawn.How does an elephant get down from a tree?He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn.Two tigers were walking down the high street. One of them says to the other, Quiet for a Saturday night, isnt it?What kind of cats love water?Octopusses.
Why do horses look sad?Because they have long faces.
Why cant a leopard hide?Because hes always spotted.What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?Hot cross bunnies.
What do you do with a blue whale?Try to cheer it up.What do cats eat for breakfast?Mice Krispies.
Why is it hard to bury an elephant?Because its an enormous undertaking.Whats the wettest animal in the world?A reindeer.How do horses propose?On bended neigh.
What do you call a three-legged donkey?A wonky.What kind of key opens a banana?A monkey.Where does a chicken go when it dies?To oven.Where do sheep go for their haircuts?The baa baa shop.Whats a rabbits favourite kind of music?Hip hop.
Why did the pony cough?He was a little hoarse.Whats a sharks favourite game?Bite and seek.Why is a puppy good at DIY?Because its always doing little jobs around the house.
Mike: Would you like to play with our new dog?Joanne: Im not sure. He looks very fierce. Does he bite?Mike: Thats what I want to find out.What do you call a frog with no hind legs?Unhoppy.Which cat purrs more than any other?A purrsian cat.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with an owl?Something that smells, but doesnt give a hoot.Why is it difficult to have a conversation with a goat?It always butts in.Why wont banks allow kangaroos to open accounts?Their cheques always bounce.What do you get if you cross a dog with a telephone?A golden receiver.
What do you get from a clever oyster?Pearls of wisdom.What do you call a pig that knows karate?A pork chop.
Why are giraffes slow to apologize?It takes them a very long time to swallow their pride.Whats black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra.Whats black and white and makes loads of noise?A zebra with a drum kit.Why did the owl say, Tweet, tweet?Because she didnt give a hoot.
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?Because they couldnt keep their trunks up.
Whats a crocodiles favourite game?Snap.What do you get if you cross a chicken with a dog?Pooched eggs.What bird is always out of breath?A puffin.
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