Michele C. Hollow - Hilarious Jokes for Minecrafters: Mobs, Creepers, Skeletons, and More

This book is not authorized or sponsored by Microsoft Corp, Mojang AB, Notch Development AB or Scholastic Inc., or any other person or entity owning or controlling rights in the Minecraft name, trademark, or copyrights. Copyright 2016 by Hollan Publishing, Inc. Minecraft is a registered trademark of Notch Development AB The Minecraft game is copyright Mojang AB This book is not authorized or sponsored by Microsoft Corp, Mojang AB, Notch Development AB or Scholastic Inc., or any other person or entity owning or controlling rights in the Minecraft name, trademark, or copyrights. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Sky Pony Press, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

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Cover design by Brian Peterson Cover illustration credit Hollan Publishing, Inc. Cover and interior illustrations by Amanda Brack Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-0632-3 Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-0636-1 Printed in Canada CONTENTS INTRODUCTION A joke book about Minecraft can be called niche (or very specific) humor. We, however, are calling it Notch humor. If you know Minecraft, you may have groaned or giggled, and you certainly will get that joke. We have found a secret language of sorts that is just shared by youthe fans of the game. Kids in the gaming world call Minecraft a phenomenon.

Your parents may call it an obsession. Fansyou know who you arekeep on coming back because Minecraft nurtures your creativity. It makes perfect sense to compare it to time spent playing in a sandbox or maybe even the original LEGO bricksthe ones before the kits, when nothing held you back. Markus Persson, the creator of the game, once said the only limit in Minecraft is your imagination. In addition to letting your imagination run wild, Minecraft allows you and your fellow players share a sense of humor. While blowing things up, causing fires, and other forms of destruction may sound ominous in most situations, in Minecraft, these things are sheer fun.

So, in between running from and fighting hostile mobs and trading with villagers, enjoy these jokes, riddles, puns, limericks, poems, tongue twisters, haikus, and trivia facts about your favorite game. CHAPTER 1 HOSTILE MOBS JOKES Q: What happens when a creeper walks into a bar? A: Everyone dies. Q: Did you hear that the creeper was the life of the party? A: He had a blast. Q: What popular TV show do ghasts like to watch? A: Mobern Family ! Q: Why can Minecraft spiders swim? A: Because they have webbed feet! Q: What do you get when you cross an Enderman with a creeper? A: A teleporting bomb. Q: What do Minecraft skeletons say before they sit down to dine? A: Bone appetite! Q: Why didnt the skeleton dance at the villagers ball? A: He had no body to dance with. Q: How did Steve know that the skeleton was lying to him? A: He could see right through him.

Q: What song does a blaze like to dance to? A: We Didnt Start the Fire. Q: How do hostile mobs start a fairy tale? A: Once upon a slime... When I saw the witch with a potion, I knew trouble was brewing. The Wither was confused and didnt know wither he should go to the Nether or not. First zombie to a second zombie: Id tell you a joke about the end, but it will just dragon. Q: Why did the creeper cross the road? A: To escape the ocelot.

Q: Why did the Enderman stop playing? A: Because he was at the end of his game. Q: Why are there no posters of Endermen in Minecraft? A: Because no one can look at them. Q: How did the witch kill the player? A: Her potions just blew him away. Q: Why are Minecraft spiders always angry? A: Because they keep going up the wall! Q: What did the player say to the slime that he hadnt seen in a while? A: You gruesome. Q: Why did the zombie cross the road? A: To get to the next village. Q: What do mosquitoes and zombies have in common? A: They like a bite before bedtime! Q: What kind of parties do creepers have? A: Block parties.

Q: Why cant Endermen read an entire book? A: Because they always start at the end. Q: What games do zombies play with ants? A: Squash. Q: What do you say when you meet a Wither? A: Bye, Bye, Bye. Q: Whats a creepers favorite toy? A: A BOOM-a-rang. Q: What do annoyed skeletons call noobs? A: Blockheads. Q: Whats black and white and rolls off a pier? A: An Enderman and a chicken fighting over a piece of cooked pork! Q: Why do players shop at Endermen yard sales? A: To get their stuff back.

Q: Why did the Enderman cross the road? A: He didnthe teleported. Q: Where does an Enderman sleep? A: Anywhere he wants. Q: What did the zombie say to his friend who was up playing Minecraft all night? A: You look dead tired. Q: What did the creeper call his tired silverfish? A: A sleepy creepy! Q: What goes snap, crackle, pop? A: Silverfish in lava. Q: What did one slime say to the other who hit him over the head? A: Ill get you next slime! Q: What did the zombie say to the new player? A: Pleased to eat you. Q: Why did the slime stay home? A: He had no place to goo! Q: Why did the silverfish ground his children? A: Because they were bugging him! Q: Why did the zombie knit an extra sweater? A: Because he wanted to keep his new family member warm.

Q: What did the creeper say to the player? A: Open the door, or Ill open the wall! Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a creeper? A: The Grim Peeper. Q: Why was the zombie happy to be in night court? A: He was hoping the judge would grant him a new life sentence. Q: What did the zombie say to his date? A: Ive been dying to meet you. Q: What do you get when a witch flies a plane? A: A horror-flying experience. Q: What do you call diamonds given to a creeper in exchange for a favor? A: A monster bribe. Q: What mobs slow down computers? A: Rendermen! Q: Whats creepy and leads to the second floor of a creepers house? A: Monstairs.

Q: Where do zombies go hiking? A: Death Valley. Q: How do creepers like their eggs? A: Terror fried. Q: Why did the police hold the creeper after he was hit by lightning? A: Because the creeper was charged! Q: Why did the zombie leave the restaurant? A: Because they werent serving human beans, pickled kids, or eyes scream. Q: Why did the zombie cross the road? A: To get to the graveyard. Q: Who are the heaviest creatures in Minecraft? A: Skele-tons! Q: Why does the zombie like ice cream? A: Because while hes eating you, you scream. Q: Why are creepers tired at the end of the day? A: Because being evil is hard work.

Q: What type of contests do Endermen hate? A: Staring contests! Q: What did the mutant creeper say to the mutant Enderman? A: Stop sucking me in. Did you know that Endermen scare people out of their mines? Q: Why did the Enderman leave the party? A: He felt uncomfortable with everyone staring at him. Q: What did the creeper say to the noob? A: We hope you enjoy your ssstay. The creeper is always greener on the other side. Q: How many creepers does it take to blow up a lightbulb? A: Just one! Kaboom! Knock, knock. Whos there? Interrupting creeper.