Katie Adams - Sh*ts and Giggles: The Ultimate Bathroom Joke Book

andTHE ULTIMATE
BATHROOM JOKE BOOK
KATIE ADAMS SH*TS AND GIGGLES. Copyright 2018 by St. Martins Press. All rights reserved. For information, address St. 10010. www.stmartins.com www.castlepointbooks.com Illustrations used under license from Shutterstock.com eISBN 978-1-250-16411-7 Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. www.stmartins.com www.castlepointbooks.com Illustrations used under license from Shutterstock.com eISBN 978-1-250-16411-7 Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use.

Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension. 5442, or by e-mail at . First Edition: April 2018

Best to just keep these to yourself. What should you do if you come across an old woman crossing the street? Apologize and wipe it off. What is the best way to ensure a guy will remember the color of your eyes? Be an A cup. Whats the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts em, the other sucks em. Why did the prostitute ask for a loan? She needed a bit of help until she got off her feet again. Why did the man cry when he masturbated? He was a tearjerker. What type of bird gives the best blow jobs? A swallow. What did the off-duty prostitute say to the man in the car? Beat it, Im off the clock. What did the mans poop smell like? Shit. Lets face it: Our world is full of more bullshit now than ever before. Lets face it: Our world is full of more bullshit now than ever before.

Which is to say you should have more than one word for it in your arsenal the next time you need to call it out. BabooneryBalderdashBallsBallyhooBatshitBird turdBlarneyBlatherBollocksBull fartsBunk bullCock and bullCodswallopCowyard confettiCrapCrapspackleCrockDonkey dustDrivelFlapdoodleFlim-flamGobble-gabbleHocus-pocusHogwashHorse feathersHorse shitIrish bullJibber jabberLoadMacaroniMalarkeyMumble jumboNitshitPhooeyPish and tushPoppycockPosh poshRhubarbRubbishShit sandwichShiteTrumperyTwaddleWeasel wordsYakety-yak

Weve all played that game at a Chinese restaurant where you add in bed to the end of your fortune cookie fortune. Here are some actual fortunes that will make your game delightfully awkward. The original answer is newspaper, but those dont exist anymore. Nor is it a very exciting answer. Whats black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk. Whats black and white and red all over? A zebra in a red sweatsuit. Whats black and white and red all over? A sunburned penguin. Whats black and white and red all over? Oreos dipped in strawberry jam. Whats black and white and red all over? A referee who spilled cherry Kool-Aid on himself. Whats black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight. Whats black and white and red all over? A panda that spilled some paint.