Thomas J. Perotti - Dad Jokes for New Dads
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- Book:Dad Jokes for New Dads
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- Publisher:Thomas J. Perotti
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- Year:2021
- Rating:3 / 5
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Groans, eye-rolls, giggles, belly chuckles, and so much more!
This book is jam-packed with the most iconic dad jokes youll find. Your kids will not be able to stop rolling on the floor in laughter or covering their faces in embarrassment. True to the dad joke style, weve made sure all the jokes here are so bad theyre impossible not to laugh at.
Weve got jokes your kids will hate you for, jokes that remind your wife why she fell in love with you in the first place, and general, all-purpose jokes you can share amongst your group of fellow dads. Whatever the occasion, this joke book has got you covered!
Use them as you wish, spread them freely, and keep the laughter rolling!
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What is the best 'hood' in the ghetto? Fatherhood.
You might have heard a lot about this 'hood' before, but its pretty much guaranteed nothing could prepare you for what lies ahead. Nonetheless, this book is written to give you an edge over other dads in the comedy department, at least. Ive collected 304 of the funniest jokes I could think of and presented them to you in this handy list. Have fun with them and keep them close at hand in case you ever need help diffusing a tense situation or just to add some classic dad humor to your personality!
Q : What is the scariest threat to a matchstick?
A : Youre on your last strike!"
Q : Your mom thought I should tell you a joke about planes.
A : But I thought it would go over your head.
Q : Why do the ducks keep attacking our dog?
A : Because hes a pure bread!
Q : Your mom threatened to leave me unless I stopped buying comic books.
A : She said she couldnt deal with my issues!
Q : Why do rockstars hate playing for ghosts?
A : Because they dont want to get bood.
Q : Where can you find the best winter clothes in the United States?
A : New Jersey!
Q : I failed a health and safety course yesterday. It asked me what steps to take in case of fire.
A : Apparently, Quick Ones wasnt the correct answer.
Q : What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
A : Feyonce.
Q : My wife threatened to leave because of my obsession with horoscopes.
A : It left our relationship in Pisces.
Q : I failed a test in high school because I couldnt think of two man-made structures for holding water.
A : When I told my father, he said, well, damn!
Q : My friend Jack is a vegetable-themed ventriloquist.
A : I didnt know this when I met him, so you can imagine my surprise when Jack made the beans talk.
Q : I used to keep a diary filled with fun facts.
A : I called it the Know-It Book.
Q : My wife says I always put my foot in my mouth around celebrities.
A : I told her it makes it easier to converse with all-stars.
Q : My wife gave me a German dog for Christmas.
A : I named him Jesus, for the Lord is my German Shepherd.
Q : How do fish always know how much they weigh?
A : Because they always have scales.
Q : What do you call a tired pea?
A : Sleep-pea.
Q : Why did the pop star overheat after her concert?
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