H.G. Tudor - A Grimoire of Narcissism

A Grimoire of Narcissism

By

H G Tudor

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2016

A Grimoire of Narcissism

By

H G Tudor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Published by Insight Books

Introduction

Narcissism. The casual observer when asked what he or she understands by this word may shrug or offer the suggestion that it is to do with loving oneself. It is usually the case that only those who have experienced narcissism at the hands of a narcissist have an awareness of it being much more than loving oneself. The victim will testify to the whirlwind that is the narcissist arriving in his or her life with the sudden seduction, even more sudden devaluation and discard before being hoovered back in to the nightmare once again. Narcissists are everywhere. You will know several even if you do not recognise the signs. They will be in your family, your workplace, your social circles, your gym, your book club and your bed. Narcissists are experts at infiltrating society to further their own nefarious ends. Few see them coming and many do not even know what has nearly destroyed them. Often the victims are preyed upon by a further narcissist and then another. We know how to target our victims as there are certain types of people, empathic individuals who gain our attention above others. Their traits of honesty, decency, compassion, a strong moral compass and more make them ideal for our needs. They provide us with our lifeblood, fuel. They fail to understand what they have been ensnared by and they remain ensnared for longer. They are easier to attract, easier to abuse and easier to keep hold of.

Becoming entangled with a narcissist is a vicious and destructive dance. The victim will eventually be cast to one side, dazed, confused and bewildered. They will have suffered emotional damage, financial chaos, sexual and physical abuse and be left to sit amongst the smouldering ruins of their life and still they will want the narcissist to return. That is how powerful the hold our kind has over out victims. Understanding the manner in which the narcissist thinks and behaves and what he or she is, remains the central key to escape and recovery. Until a person fully understands why the narcissist is as he or she is, they have no hope for making a full escape and thereafter staying away. The narcissist engenders confusion in order to maintain control. We know that you are ruled and governed by your emotions. This makes you the viable target that we require. You rarely act by detaching yourself from a situation and applying cold, hard logic. Most people act through emotion rather than calculation and empathic individuals such as you are even more likely to behave in this manner. This is what we want. We want to keep the fog of confusion and bewilderment around you in order to maintain our control over you. Cutting through that fog by gaining a full understanding is the route to victory. As part of gaining that understanding, it is fundamental for the victim (or even someone who wishes to arm themselves before they are ensnared by the narcissist) the victim must read and digest. This journey of discover results in exposure to many terms which are esoteric to the world of narcissism. There are many and a familiarity is required with these terms and phrases in order to understand them, apply them and use them. Accordingly, this grimoire contains a vast range of those terms which are pertinent to narcissism. This collection contains straight forward explanations, avoiding laborious psychological labels in order to provide clarity and aid understanding. Psychological terms and labels are not used in this publication. That is not to undermine the value of such analysis and labelling but rather to promote the accessibility and increase the understanding by listing and explaining a more straightforward way of describing various terms applicable to narcissism. Here you will find the answers to knowing what is meant when someone talk about the narcissist needing fuel. You will be able to ascertain instantly what a Respite Hoover is and become familiar with what happens when Triangulation occurs. This is a useful and comprehensive guide to understanding the terminology that is frequently used when discussing narcissists and their victims. By digesting its content, you will provide yourself with a head start and a discernible advantage to overcoming the narcissist that has you in his or her grip, or who has left you discarded in the dirt. Use this grimoire to better your understanding, to shore up your defences and gird your loins. It is written from the perspective of a narcissist since that is what I am and therefore it is providing you with knowledge and information from the very source that is causing you so much pain. Use that unrivalled access and turn it to your advantage as you embrace this grimoire of narcissism.

The Terms

Absent Silent Treatment a form of manipulation whereby the narcissist deliberately removes him or herself from the vicinity of the victim and furthermore does so in a manner which makes it either extremely difficult or impossible for the victim to have any communication with the narcissist. This may take the form of the narcissist disappearing completely, or withdrawing to a location where the victim knows the narcissist is there but is unable to communicate with him or her.

Acknowledgement is a Method of Delivery and is where the Victim has recognised the narcissist as knowing them and reacted to the narcissist but most importantly the Victim has used the narcissists name. You may have only said Hello H G but the use of the narcissists name means you know him or her, you have accepted him or her and recognised the value in using the narcissists name.

ACON an acronym which means Adult Child of Narcissist.

Acquaintances are people who know the narcissist but effectively only by sight or name. They may happen to have an obligation towards the narcissist, for example, the barman who is seen twice a week knows the narcissists name and remembers him or her, but he knows no more than that. What matters most is the fact that they know who the narcissist is. The narcissist does not care if he or she recalls who they are, they are inconsequential save for their capacity to provide fuel. Since they know the narcissist, they are interested in the narcissist and this increases the potency of their fuel.

Acquired Traits - those traits and characteristics which belong to other people who the narcissist interacts with, which he acquires for him or herself for the purposes of the Construct . An example would be the narcissist fraternising with a successful sportsman. The narcissist will acquire the appearance (although not the actual ability) of this ability and use it in dealing with other Prospects for the purpose of attracting them, for instance, he will claim the real sportsmans achievements as his own.

Actual Criticism a criticism made by the victim or a third party of the narcissist. The criticism causes Wounding to the narcissist. This is greater in nature if the critic is a Primary Source. For the Actual Criticism to be effective it must be delivered without emotion otherwise it will be regarded as Negative Fuel.

Admiring Gesture. A category of Method of Delivery. An admiring gesture will incorporate a look of appreciation, a wolf whistle and applause. It includes standing open mouthed and eyes wide, cheering and giving the narcissist the thumbs up. It should be noted that the narcissist values admiration more than love in the scheme of grading Fuel. Would you really value a thumbs up over making love?

Admiring Words . A category of form of delivery is giving the narcissist the type of things, which make the narcissist tick. Admiring words. Examples include