H. Norman Wright - After You Say I Do

A n important principle in your marriage is to concentrate on what you will be doing either differently or positively. Then commit it to prayerdont attempt to do it without the Lords guidance and power. When you visualize your intent to be different or loving or accepting, you move toward that reality.

Perhaps it would be helpful to look at your marriage now, after working through this book, and consider what you like about your relationship and what you would like to see continue. Talk together about what you can do to ensure that the positive does continue.

As you can see, everything suggested in this book is simple, not at all profound. Over the years Ive wondered why more couples dont follow these principles. As one husband put it, I just never thought about it like that before. Now that I do, it makes sense. I think the potential for what can happen is summarized in this poem:

I will be with you

no matter what happens

to us and between us.

If you should become blind tomorrow,

I will be there.

If you achieve no success

and attain no status in our society,

I will be there.

When we argue and are angry,

as we inevitably will,

I will work to bring us together.

When we seem totally at odds

and neither of us is having needs fulfilled,

I will persist in trying to understand

and in trying to restore our relationship.

When our marriage seems utterly sterile

and going nowhere at all,

I will believe that it can work,

and I will want it to work,

and I will do my part to make it work.

And when all is wonderful

and we are happy,

I will rejoice over our life together,

and continue to strive

to keep our relationship growing and strong.

101 Ways to Build a Stronger, More Exciting Marriage

101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged

101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Remarried

After You Say I Do

After You Say I Do Devotional

Before You Remarry

Before You Say I Do

Before You Say I Do Devotional

Before You Say I Do DVD

Coping with Chronic Illness

Finding the Life Youve Been Looking For

Finding the Right One for You

Helping Your Kids Deal with Anger, Fear, and Sadness

The One-Minute Counselor for Men

The One-Minute Counselor for Parents

Quiet Times for Couples

Quiet Times for Every Parent

Quiet Times for Those Who Grieve

Reflections of a Grieving Spouse

Strong to the Core

Success over Stress

Truly Devoted

What to Say When You Dont Know What to Say

When It Feels Like the Sky Is Falling

When the Past Wont Let You Go

Designed to stimulate genuinely open communication between you and your partner, Quiet Times for Couples provides a framework for conversation, making it easier for you to share the deeper parts of your lives.

Bestselling author H. Norman Wright shares wisdom gained from many years of counseling experience on subjects geared specifically to coupleswisdom that will draw you closer as you seek God together each day.

Quiet Times for Couples is an excellent gift book for special occasionsweddings, anniversaries, and rededications.

M arriage is one of the most important facets of your life. It contains unique and interesting potential. This guide has been developed to help you evaluate your marriage. I trust that as you work through this program, your present relationship will be strengthened to better ensure an enriching, fulfilling, and growing marriage. I also hope you will have a much more realistic perception of yourself, your spouse, and your marriage.

First of all, lets relive part of your dating relationship.

1. When did you meet? Describe this as well as you can remember. (By the way, can you remember what each of you was wearing?)

2. Who first wanted to date?

3. What did you like about the other person right at first?

4. When did you decide on the inside youre for me?

5. Who was the first person you told that you were engaged?

6. In what way is your spouse different than and similar to your parents?

7. Define marriage. What is its purpose?

8. How does your marriage relationship agree with or differ from this definition and purpose?

9. Do you believe marriage is a contract?

10. How do you think your spouse would answer these questions?

Many people are propelled toward marriage without really understanding all they are committing themselves to for the rest of their lives. That is why couples experience surprises and upsets through the duration of their marriage. Marriage is many things:

Marriage is a gift.

Marriage is an opportunity for love to be learned.

Marriage is a journey in which we, as the travelers, are faced with many choicesand we are responsible for those choices.

Marriage is affected more by our inner communication than by our outer communication.

Marriage is more often influenced by unresolved issues from our past than we realize.

Marriage is a call to servanthood.

Marriage is a call to friendship.

Marriage is a call to suffering.

Marriage is a refining process. It is an opportunity to be refined by God into the person He wants us to be.

Marriage is not an event but a way of life.

Marriage involves intimacy in all areas for it to be fulfilling. This intimacy must reach into the spiritual, the intellectual, the social, the emotional, and the physical.

A marriage relationship is a school, a learning and growing environment in which (if everything is as it should be) both partners can grow and develop. The relationship grows along with them. If you can see marriage as an opportunity for growth, you can be satisfied and can satisfy your spouse.

Here is my own definition of marriage. Consider it carefully, and then talk over your feelings with your partner:

A Christian marriage is a total commitment of two people to the person of Jesus Christ and to each other. It is a commitment in which there is no holding back of anything. Marriage is a

Think about it. God will use your marriage for His purpose. He will mold you for your own benefit and for His glory.

You may be thinking that in your marriage there are only two individuals involved. That is true, but there is a third party who can give even greater meaning to your individual and married lifethat person is Jesus Christ. In what ways will you allow the presence of Jesus Christ in your life to make a difference in your marriage?