H.G. Tudor - Why? Understanding the Narcissists Behaviour

Why?

By

H G Tudor

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2016

Why?

By

H G Tudor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Published by Insight Books

Introduction

Why?

This word more than any other, is probably associated with our kind.

The way we behave, the things we do, the words we say all leave those who have been affected by our poison left wondering why. Hundreds of questions posed by what we have done to you. To make matters worse, we purposefully avoid providing you with answers. This is done either by not engaging with you or behaving in a manner which defies the logic and rationale by which you conduct yourself. You are left with lots of whys floating around and no way of dealing with them.

Until now.

As a narcissist I have selected a range of questions all beginning with the word why. Some are regularly asked, some are not as common but all are relevant to what we do and say and moreover all are pertinent in assisting your understanding. It is through your understanding of why we behave in the way that we do, why we think the way we think and why we say the things that we say, that you will finally be able to free yourself from out malign and damaging influence.

Once you understand you become free.

Here are the answers to why.

Why shouldnt I warn the new target?

There is always a huge temptation for you to want to warn the new person that we now have in our sights. It may be the case that you have been callously discarded and therefore you are now a seething mixture of anger, hurt, confusion and jealousy as we parade our new capture where you were once heralded. It may be the case that you managed to escape and everything began to fit into place as you worked out what we truly are. The full horror of realisation sweeping over you, creating a sensation of revulsion, relief and true to your empathic nature, a considerable desire to prevent anybody else suffering the torment that you have been put through. You want to reach out to his unwitting victim who has wandered, just as you once did, into the vipers lair. You see the tendrils coiled around her although she cannot. You recognise the similarities as sugar is poured in her ears during the irresistible seduction and you know what awaits this poor person. Not only do you feel the need to save her, to protect her and warn her, you also want her to know what a thoroughly evil and despicable person we are. You want to achieve revenge by snatching this wretch away from our clutches and deny us another notch on the victim post. You want to open her eyes to what we are. You want to tip the sugar from her ears so she can hear clearly the wickedness in our voices. You want to take off those rose-tinted spectacles so she can peruse the many red flags which are flying. It is an oft repeated and understandable reaction from you which is driven by the twin desire to protect and to unmask. It is futile.

You will not succeed. You will only further your own anger and misery, invite scorn and ridicule from both us and our new victim and provide us with more of our delicious fuel through your emotionally charged pleas for the victim to wake up and see what we are really like. It is a doomed quest and one which we always succeed in rejecting. Why is this?

Accordingly, the battle of persuading the new victim to leave us is not one which should be fought because you will not win. It is not your concern. Your concern is you.

Why didnt we end the relationship sooner?

It is sometimes a question which arises when a victim has been able to make better sense of what has happened to them. The victim has realised that he or she has been ensnared by one of our kind. They understand that this involves the well-recognised cycle of seduction, devaluation, discard and hoover. Freed from the confusing chaos of the relationship, on the road to recovery and quite possibly successfully implementing no contact, the victim will have a clearer view of what has happened and start to begin to understand parts of what has taken place. Chief of all there will be the questions as to why certain things happened and amongst them is the realisation that the relationship was all based on a false premise. The victim, although still struggling emotionally with the concept, is beginning to realise that the relationship was only ever going to end up in one place. The seduction was a fallacy merely delaying the fact that there would the devaluation and the eventual tossing to one side of the victim. Knowing that this was always going to be the outcome and that the victim had no chance or hope of changing it leads the victim to ask; why then, if the narcissist was always going to get rid of me, why did they do so sooner? Why not, when they felt that the fuel that arose from this victim became stale, get rid of them then? Why didnt they, when the lustre became dulled on the relationship, bring it to a conclusion then and go and find someone else? There are several reasons why we do not end the relationship at this point. There are a number of factors which cause us not to do what might be regarded as the normal and decent thing and cut the ties when the relationship begins to founder. Those factors are as follows: -