Table of Contents
More Praise for A Lasting Promise, New and Revised Edition
Finally, a practical, easy-to-read book that deals with real marital issues from a Christian perspective! Soundly based on both biblical principles and marital research, A Lasting Promise is a must-read for any couple who wants to upgrade their marriage and make it a promise for life.
David and Claudia Arp, coauthors, The Second Half of Marriage
Every couple wants a lasting promise but the tragic reality is many of the promises made at the alter don't last and many of those that do become impoverished relationships that are a far cry from what God had in mind when He designed marriage. This is much more than a second editionin many ways it's a new book. With cutting-edge research, the theological integration is deeper, it is biblically richer, and at the same time even more practical. The chapters on prayer and jars of clay alone are worth the price of the book. A Lasting Promise will help you see marriage from a new perspective and free you to enjoy the deep levels of passion and intimacy that God designed us to enjoy in a healthy marriage relationship. Whether you are a newlywed couple, a graduate student, a pastor, or a counseling professional, you will benefit personally and professionally from this resource. It's a book you'll give to friends and one you'll refer to often. Invest in yourself or someone you love by giving the gift of this book!
Gary J. Oliver, PhD, executive director, The Center for Relationship Enrichment; professor, psychology and practical theology, John Brown University, Siloam Springs, Arkansas
Cover design: JPuda
Cover image: rings Doug Armand/Getty; couple Yuri Arcurs/Getty
Copyright 2014 by Christian PREP, Inc. All rights reserved.
Published by Jossey-Bass
A Wiley Brand
One Montgomery Street, Suite 1200, San Francisco, CA 94104-4594www.josseybass.com
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax 201-748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. Readers should be aware that Internet Web sites offered as citations and/or sources for further information may have changed or disappeared between the time this was written and when it is read.
Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact Jossey-Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3986, or fax 317-572-4002.
Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.
Unless otherwise noted, all scripture quoted is from the Holy Bible: New International Version (North American Edition). Copyright 1984 by the International Bible Society. Some passages as noted are from the New King James Version (NKJV; copyright by Thomas Nelson, Inc., 1982) or the King James Version, where rendering makes the points clearer.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for and is on file at the Library of Congress.
ISBN 978-1-118-67292-1 (paper); ISBN 978-1-118-69051-2 (ebk.); ISBN 978-1-11869058-1 (ebk.)
Acknowledgments
This book is founded on the contributions of many others who have studied to better understand marriage and how to help couples. First and foremost, we acknowledge our friend and colleague Howard Markman. Dr. Markman had the pioneering vision in the late 1970s to take emerging understandings from sound marital research and apply this information to helping couples prevent divorce and preserve lasting, loving marriages. His impetus has born much fruit over many years in this field. Over the past thirty years, Dr. Markman and Dr. Scott Stanley (coauthor of this book), along with a host of distinguished colleagues, have worked to refine both our understanding of marriage and effective strategies for couples who want to make their marriages all they can be.
We specifically acknowledge a core group of colleagues who have worked at various stages over many years on research or foundational principles and strategies that lie behind all our efforts to help couples. The list of centrally involved colleagues includes Natalie Jenkins, Susan Blumberg, Frank Floyd, and Galena Rhoades. The list of other colleagues and researchers who have provided an endless stream of useful studies that inform what we do to help couples is too long to include here, but we acknowledge the immense value of that body of work.
We also acknowledge the dedicated team at PREP, Inc. who continually make important and creative contributions to the efforts to develop and distribute thoughtful, research-based materials for helping people build healthy and happy marriages. The team has included many talented people over the years, and we list here the current and recent team members who have done so much for others: Todd Boyd, Lawrence Ramos, Nick Thayer, Jeff Erlacher, Lucinda Young, Sarah Healey, Lief Noll, Miranda Egger, Judi Metz, Jessica Jenkins, and Maggie Corcoran.
We also have had the good fortune to connect over the years with many people who have supported us in meaningful ways as our work has developed. Bill Coffin has been a deep and longtime advocate of efforts to help couples in marriage. He was instrumental in encouraging us to get our work out of the lab and into the world where it could make a difference. It is hard to imagine anyone who has known more people and connected more dots in this field than Bill. We also thank Diane Sollee for her pioneering national efforts to put marriage education on the map. She has been a great supporter of those who seek to strengthen marriages.
Over the years, we have been assisted by an incredible number of research colleagues, assistants, and students at the University of Denver. The list is truly too long to construct, but we are deeply thankful to you all for your work.
Next page