Lisa Helmanis - Master Dating: Get the Life and Love You Want

CAREFUL NOW

Alls fair

in love and war, so while you may be playing the field and taking a few chances, we at Infinite Ideas wish you well but also remind you that we cannot take responsibility for any failed marriages, unsuitable men or bad kissers. Your choices and the outcome are down to you. We would, however, like to wish you well at putting these ideas into practice, tell you to polish up your date shoes and recommend a breath mint. Remember, anything can happen; hearts can get broken but also be mended, and no one ever won the big prize without running the race.

Get out there. Youre gorgeous.

Copyright The Infinite Ideas Company Limited, 2005

The right of Lisa Helmanis to be identified as the author of this book has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

First published in 2005 by

The Infinite Ideas Company Limited

36 St Giles

Oxford

OX1 3LD

United Kingdom

www.infideas.com

All rights reserved. Except for the quotation of small passages for the purposes of criticism or review, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except under the terms of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, 90 Tottenham Court Road, London W1T 4LP, UK, without the permission in writing of the publisher. Requests to the publisher should be addressed to the Permissions Department, Infinite Ideas Limited, 36 St Giles, Oxford OX1 3LD, UK, or faxed to +44 (0)1865 514777.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 1-904902-36-7

Brand and product names are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective owners.

Designed and typeset by Baseline Arts Ltd, Oxford

Printed by TJ International, Cornwall

Brilliant ideas

The first thing you need to do when looking for romance is take a look at yourself. Not as a proposition, although at least you know youd have something in common

As soon as girls are old enough to understand the spoken word, they are told stories of handsome knights and Prince Charming, encouraging them to daydream Mister Perfect from an early age.

Youre ready to get out there and start mixing, but where exactly is there?

Everyone knows someone who is an incredible flirt, whose social diary always seems to need extra fold-out sections and who seems to be adored by all men, from infants to grandfathers.

Its a big part of our life and here to stay the internet has revolutionised the way that we deal with all our relationships.

Women: we love to talk. It makes us societys social glue and brings people together.

Women are great at being loving and supportive. We can spend hours talking about the minutiae of our relationships, work traumas and outfit choices.

When it comes to romance, we all are masters in the art of deception with others and with ourselves.

Some men are simply beyond saving. If you meet one and find yourself falling for his cute smile, try and imagine that theres only one space in the lifeboat: its you or him.

The modern world moves quickly: and the perfect dating example of that is the speed-dating phenomenon.

Hurrah, you have found someone that you like. Now all you need to work out is if he likes you too.

Got friends who seem to glide through life, people whom everyone calls born lucky, while nothing whatsoever seems to go your way?

A big part of dating is being available. Yes, I know it sounds obvious

Wouldnt it be great if, when you ended a relationship, you could just have it wiped from your brain?

Sometimes when you are beginning to date after a break from the scene, its hard to know whats right and whats downright wrong.

Blind dates are a great way to get back into the dating swing or give you a little perk up if you are in a dating lull.

Clothing communicates, its a simple fact. No matter how much we regard ourselves as able to look behind the faade, one of the first signifiers we read is the packaging.

You know the saying: one mans poison, etc., etc. You might find the thought of going out with someone elses ex a little unsavoury

There is a line from a song that goes, Nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard, which comes to mind here

Should you even date at all? Well, everyone needs love, support and attention

Weve all met them; they are part of our daily lives and always will be.

Alcohol, the great lifter of spirits, calmer of nerves and friend of the good times. If only that was all it did

Dating is great. Its fun, liberating and can make you feel wonderfully alive and attractive. But, like anything, youve got to be sensible about it too.

Sometimes things just dont work out. You can have a great time for three months and think its all going fantastically

OK, OK, lets keep it clean, ladies. Of course, all men want that, but there are some other qualities that men are looking for too.

Sex is a wonderful, essential part of many peoples lives, and inextricably linked to dating.

Much as we would all like to believe that were unique and that the mould was broken when they made us, blah blah blah, the reality is different.

Then it starts. Then it stops. And without the power of being able to see into the future, we are sometimes just playing wait and see.

Suddenly a cutie catches your eye and you find yourself considering someone who never blipped on your radar before. Because theyre not even nearly in your age group.

Your relationship is ready to move on to the next level which for many means meeting the family.

Modern datings a confusing world, not least because many women are independent, dont need escorts to be allowed out and can afford to buy their own handbags.

Sometimes it just isnt there. You have pushed, prodded and tried to shoehorn this person into a relationship, but it just isnt going to work.

Along with the highs and the fun of dating, comes some of the rough stuff.

What a wonderful invention. The holiday romance

Oh, yes. Its very easy to point the finger at the crazies and laugh, imagining that you are perfect in every way.

There are holidays, celebrations and festivals that all seem to have been designed to drive a single person insane.

No matter how much you want to keep on the sunny side of the street, being single (like being in a relationship) can have its down days.

Work may be a four letter word, but the wonderful thing about it is that as well as bringing home your pay, you may end up bringing home a husband.

Youve met a great guy, he seems really into you and things are ticking along nicely. Well done

Sometimes things can be so great in our lives that we forget how hard we fought for them. Friends are one example.

Meeting someone is often a numbers game: the more people you meet, the more likely you are to meet someone that you click with.

Too busy to find love? Its a common complaint. But its easy to let work become disproportionately important.

OK, so dating doesnt necessarily mean getting frisky, but lets face it: at some point, it usually does.

Picture the scene: you are having lunch by yourself in a quiet caf; you look up and see two men at nearby tables. Both are nice looking, of equal build, and both keeep looking at you

Well, doesnt life just kick you in the teeth sometimes? You got what you wanted and youre still not happy.