Sam Pease - Date Like a Dude: How to Get, Get Rid of, or Get Over a Guy

99% of all socks are single and you dont see them crying about it.

IF I HAD a brick for every time a girlfriend of mine said, I wish I had a boyfriend , Id have a wall to rival that big one in China. I dont find it hard to be single; I find it hard to stay single. Strangely, the times when Im happily alone are the times Im most attractive to the opposite sex.

I believe that one should be either blissfully unattached or happily attached. So if youre alone and lonely, maybe the problem lies with your perception of what it means to be by yourself.

A hundred years ago, it was a societal crime to be single: a womans only role in life was to get married and have children. Being unwed made you a spinster, an undesirable female clad in DowntonDrabbey-style clothing with a severe, unforgiving hairstyle to match. Unmarried men in this period were viewed as dashing, sexually potent bachelors, charming their way through the ladies until they met Miss Perfect and Pure. Glad I wasnt around then

If you want a partner and youre clever, fun to be around and beautiful and every woman is why dont you have one?

Nothing changed until the invention of the contraceptive pill in the early sixties, when for the first time ever in history, being an unmarried and sexually active woman was applauded. So, if youre single, please be grateful for that freedom without it dictating how you should be treated (or dress).

If you want a partner and youre clever, fun to be around and beautiful and every woman is why dont you have one? If any of the following statements ring true youll need to do some soul-searching before youre ready to date:

I have a long list of qualities Im looking for in a man.

Im attracted to unhealthy men who leave me emotionally drained.

I dont value myself, so I think the man Im dating could do better.

I criticise men to the point I nit-pick them out of the game.

Im still thinking about a past love.

I complain on dates.

I dont trust men.

Im too intense on dates, so I seem a little crazy.

I romanticise men and when the reality shows through, I run away.

I fall for emotionally unavailable men.

Every one of these issues comes with its own individual fragrance but the biggest smell of all is desperation. It stinks. When were anxious about our single status we subconsciously emit a scent of sadness, and there is no greater turn-off to men than a woman with a whiff of woe.

Start viewing singledom as a choice, not a burden, and use the opportunity of being alone to discover who you are and what you need to flourish.

Social gatherings can be excruciating for unhappy singles, especially when people pry into your relationship status. If youre sick of this, just say, Yes, Im single, but not for lack of offers. And smile. Or even laugh a little. It instantly shuts people up in a way that leaves you feeling powerful instead of apologetic and pitied.

Start viewing singledom as a choice, not a burden, and use the opportunity of being alone to discover who you are and what you need to flourish. Enjoy your own company. You may not get another chance, and as long as you dont surround yourself with cats and lace doilies, youll be fine.

Barbie is in her 50s and still unmarried. And shes one of the most famous girls in the world.

TO DATE LIKE A DUDE
Embrace being a bachelor.

Sex is like junk food. A strangers snacks can be super-seductive even when youre not hungry.

WHEN YOURE SINGLE , the key to banging like a bloke is having sex without guilt, anxiety or remorse. If boning Pete from work will make you feel needy and insecure afterwards, pick someone else. If screwing your ex will mess with your self-esteem, pull a random. If its complicated or itll result in drama, choose another option. Get messy sexually not emotionally.