Michael DiMarco - The Art of the Chase: Because Datings Not a Science–Its an Art

The Art of the Chase

The Art of the Chase
Because Datings Not a ScienceIts an Art

Hayley DiMarco
and Michael DiMarco

2007 by Hungry Planet
Published by Fleming H. Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in aretrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recording without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
DiMarco, Hayley.
The art of the chase /Hayley DiMarco and Michael
DiMarco.

p. cm. (Amarriable book)
ISBN 10: 0-8007-3149-2(pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-8007-3149-6 (pbk.)

1. Man-woman relationships. 2. Dating (Social customs) 3. Mate selection. I. DiMarco, Michael. II. Title.
HQ801.D5625 2007
646.7'7dc22

2006031266

Excerpts from Marriable: Taking the Desperate Out of Dating

Published in association with Yates &Yates, LLP, Literary Agents, Orange, California.

THE
MARRIABLE
GALLERY

of Modern
Chasing
Art

Table of Contents

Dating Game
Art
1

Have you ever felt like giving up on dating? You like someone, you think they like you, but you just cant get things rolling? Are you frustrated that your soul mate still hasnt come knocking at your door? Would it help to know that there is an art to this fumbling around blind activity we call dating? Well, have no fear, help is here! (Trite, we know.) Whether you call dating a dance or a game, knowing your role and the rules of the game or standards for the dance will go a long way in helping you find the person youre looking for. Not only that, but realizing that finding the one is a series of actions and reactions instead of an act of patience is the first step in embracing the Art of the Chase.

From the dawn of man, we see the chase. Cat and mouse. Games of tag and dodgeball. Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt Jr. Thats what dating and NASCAR have in commonboth have you going in circlesbut only NASCAR races guarantee a finish line! And what typically is happening in singles circles today is good men and women not knowing how fast to drive, which direction to start, and whos to set the pace for the race when some singles wont even climb into their cars and others know no other speed than pedal to the metal.

In this book, we hope to help you find your way in the dating world, with a clear purpose that doesnt have you spinning your wheels with no end in sight and nothing to show for it. We hope this little tome, much like our books Marriable:Taking the Desperate Out of Dating and the other Art Of books, will be practical, humorous, useful, and utterly relevant to learning the Art of the Chase.

Some singles just pretend to be in the race.

The Dating Game

When we tell people to look at dating like a game, some get really offended, as if we just told them to be someone theyre not or to purposely go out and break hearts in order to win a game. But the fact that dating is a game doesnt mean its a cruel thing used for malicious or even entertainment purposes. What we mean is that just like the games you loved to play when you were a kid, a good dating game requires a plan and a strategy for success. Every time you play Battleship or Stratego, you need to have a plan if you want to ultimately win. Dating is the same way, only in dating the goal of the game is not to capture a flag or sink a battleship but to find the person of your dreams and live happily ever after. In every aspect of our lives, from board games to career moves, we have plans and strategies for getting what we want. So why should all that be considered a deceitful ploy when it comes to dating? The truth is that whether you admit it or not, every time you date, you are playing the dating game. In other words, you have game pieces (you), an opponent (fear, loneliness, etc.), and something you want to ultimately win (a heart).

All we ask is that you take any negative connotations of game playing and throw them out the window. We are talking not about playing games with peoples minds or hearts but about playing the game of love and loving it. The dating game is not a game of emotional sniping but a game of attraction and pursuit. See, when you can start to think of dating or anything else as a game, you can get a clearer picture in your head of what you are doing and how to do it, because with games there are rules, strategies, and goals. We hope that when you play the game of dating like youll read about here in The Art of the Chase, you can start to let go of some of the dysfunctional and emotional decisions youve made in the past when it comes to love and start to make some smart, educated, and tactical decisions to help you on your way to finding true love. Its like we always say: If you keep doing what youre doing, youll keep getting what youve got. And the question is, is that enough?

The dating game is not a game of emotional sniping but a game of attraction and pursuit, like a good game of tag.

If your answer is no, then congratulations! Youre ready to move on to master the Art of the Chase. And when you do, you might just be surprised how much easier the entire dating game is than you once thought it was.

If youre sick of all the mind games, then youve come to the right place. We are suggesting not that dating is a mind game but that dating with purpose and strategy will get you a lot farther than youve gotten up to now. The dating game can be the best game both you and your date have ever played if you will read and implement The Art of the Chase.

I hate people who play games with your head. Theyre such jerks!

I dont know about you, but Im sick of all the games!

I dont want to play any games with you. I just want to be real.

Men Chase, Women Catch

It might be an old-fashioned notion in some circles, but we believe that the true Art of the Chase dictates that man chases woman and woman catches man. But how does that happen? Or better yet, why? Lets start with the latter. Why should men be the ones doing the chasing? Surely a woman can do anything a man can do. Yes, thats true. We wouldnt argue with that. But just because you can do something doesnt mean you should! And the same is true of chasing. Women can chase men all day long. But the question is, do women really want men who are too afraid to chase them? Do women really want to be the stronger person, the emotional rock of the relationship? Do you, as a woman, really want to be with a man who wasnt attracted to you enough to go after you himself?

Heres the truth that you have to realize if youre a woman who thinks that chasing is up to whoever wants to do it: When a man is attracted to a woman, he will chase her. Its in his DNA. If he doesnt chase her, thats because he isnt interested (or never learned how to chase!). Period. The end. So when you find a man and hes not moving, dont assume hes just waiting for you to make the first move. Sure, he might respond well when you do, but thats because hes flattered. Who wouldnt be? But its not because youre the woman of his dreams. Its not because he cant live without you. And its not because youre all he thinks about. Its because youre a woman and you made it easy. And men are lazy creatures.