Aunt Lily - Christmas Elf Jokes

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C lick the link above to download instantly a FREE GIFT! Chloe the Monster Sitter is a beautifully illustrated story about celebrating differences. Its great way to teach children to appreciate and accept others for who they are. We would also like to give you exclusive free goodies once you click the link above. Enjoy! What is green, white, and red all over? A sunburnt elf.

What kind of music do elves like best? "Wrap" music! What nerve is used to sense elves? The Elfactory Nerve. What's another name for Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses! What's the first thing elves learn in school? The "elf"-abet! Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? Because Santa had said, "No L!" Why do elves scratch themselves? Because they're the only ones who know where its itchy! Why does Santa owe everything to the elves? Because he is an elf-made man! How do you describe a rich elf? Welfy How long should an elf's legs be? Just long enough to reach the ground! If there were 11 elves, and another one came along, what would he be? The twelf Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans! What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? "First, YULE LOGon"! What do Elves use to go from floor to floor? An Elfevator What do you call a wound that is caused by being stabbed by an Elf? It's Elf-Inflicted What do you call an Elf walking backwards? A Fle What is a female elf called? A shelf What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? Shortbread! Where do elves go to get fit? An elf farm! Where do you find elves? Depends where you left them! Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had low "elf" esteem! Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log! Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin? Cinder-"elf"-a! Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? Elfis! Why did Santa tell off one of his elves? Because he was goblin his Christmas dinner! What do elves write on Christmas cards? Have a fairy happy Christmas! What do they call a wild elf in Wyoming? Gnome on the range! What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card! What do you call an elf with a skin disease? A leper-chaun. What kind of money do elves use? Jingle bills! How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?" How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders! If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes! What do elves sing to Santa? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow! What is the favorite food of elves? "Elf"-aghetti! Which elf was the best singer? ELFis Presley. In Texas a wild elf is known as Gnome on the range! Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? Elfis! One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!" What is an elfs favorite sport? Miniature golf! What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card! Why did the elf flunk out of school? He had a short attention span.

What is an elfs favorite food? Shrimp! Why dont elves read long books? They like short stories better. What is an elf, who is about to retire, called? A short timer. Why was the elfs sled repossessed? He was a little behind on his payments. Why did Santa tell off one of his elves? Because he was goblin his Christmas dinner! Why did the elf have to buy a new TV? The other one kept shortening out. What is an elfs favorite dessert? Short Cake! Why do elves work for Santa? Because he is a jolly fellow! What is big, green and packs a trunk? An Elfephant. What did the dying elf say? I only have a little time left.

Why does no elf name begin with S? Then he would be Selfish! What do elves watch in the summer? Little League games! What is an elfs other job? Short order cook! Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band? Because he had the drum sticks! How do elves get around town? On an elephant. Why was the elf mad? Santa shorted him on his paycheck. What is an elfs favorite Christmas Carol? Have yourself a merry, little Christmas. When will an elf arrive? He will arrive shortly. Why do elves like making Ken Dolls? They can share clothes. What do elves do on holidays? Take short vacation.

Why do elves make terrible stockbrokers? They always want to sell short. What is an elfs favorite childrens book? Stuart Little. Why do elves make good listeners? They are all ears. Why did the elf cross the road? The elf herself don't know. How many elves do you need to replace a candle? A good thousand. One to sing the tale of the old, burned-out, candle.

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