David Wygant - The Best Book on Having Great Married Sex

They say marriage = monotony. To have a monogamous relationship is monotonous.

How to have good sex in marriage? You beg and plead (kidding).

In reality, you have somebody there who KNOWS you. You know how to get each other off, you know what each other likes, you know what turns on each other. You have a MENTAL SCHEDULE in your head a sex calendar.

You should ALWAYS know the last time you had sex.

If someone asks, when was the last time you and your wife had sex, if you say I dont know?thats a sign youre not having a healthy sexual relationship with your wife.

Think about it this way: every month starts a new week. You have work, kids go to school, and so forth.

Monday is the start of your new SEX WEEK. I really believe couples should have sex at least two or three times a week.

If you cant do it, then get in a bathtub, get some cialis, and youll be fine!

You really need to, in your head, think about sexually what youre craving. If youre a man, maybe its an old fashioned blowjob. If youre a woman, maybe you just want your husband to go down on you. Maybe you guys just want to bang the hell out of each other.

Whatever it might be!

You have to realize you have 7 nights together. The standard sex night is Saturday night you got a babysitter, you go out to dinner, you come back and the kids are asleep, you get into bed and screw each others brains out for 10 minutes.

But thats not the right way to do it you gotta have spontaneity! Think about what you like to do, make a list in your head of the things you like that your partner does, and exchange that list!

Probably 20-30 things that you really like think about the most amazing sexual nights youve had with your partner.

Lets say your target is 3 times a weekthen thats 7 weeks of good sex if you have 21 things you like!

Whatever really turns each other onmaybe youre just rubbing each other, a good old-fashioned handjob.

Sex doesnt just mean screwing each other it just means whatever gets the other person off.

There are so many different things you can doI dont mean to be crude about it, but it is what it is!

Realize that you can mix it up a little bit, you know?

Foreplay also counts too dont forget!

There are so many books out there on tantric sexual positions. There are so many variations it matters less which ones you use, just explore them, try different ones!

Tantric is the in thing. But honestly, you should explore what you like:

Do you like it long? Do you like it slow? Do you like when its over fast?

Sometimes you can go quick, you can go slow, you can go down on each other first, then have sex, or you can do vice-versa.

You gotta figure out all the things you as a man or a woman like to do!

The problem with most people is that they get into this monotonous rut, they have sex the same exact way they get into this routine where its 10 oclock every night, they get washed up, they get into bed, the man slips it in, 3 minutes later theyre done, and theyre just mediocre-ly satisfied.

How about instead of at 10pm every night, as a man, why dont you sneak attack and just go down on here? Why dont you buy here some sexy lingerie? Why not light some candles all over the house and have a bathtub of hot, soapy, oily water?

Mix it up! Tantric sex is not the cure its a symptom, if anything!

As I always say, its not just about sex its what LEADS to the sex.

Whats the correct balance between having a schedule, and having spontaneity?

The truth is that spontaneity is great, but in reality youre still scheduling spontaneity. When you think about it, youre always planning ahead for things even if they seem to happen spontaneously.

All of a sudden, its 5:30pm at night and youre like, wow my wife looks great, my husband looks sexy as can bewhen I say schedule, I dont mean to put it down on a calendar!

What you should do is make a mental note in your head, so youre aware of whether youre having the right sex or not and HOLD EACH OTHER ACCOUNTABLE.

If you tell your girl, tonight Im going to do some amazing things to you, Im gonna make you a bubble bath, and she gets all excited about it and then walks in and youre sitting there watching ESPN, shes wondering WHY you didnt do anything.

Women keep score! They REMEMBER why you dont do it.

So that next time you want the woman to go down on you in the way you like, she may just say WellllIm not in the mood.

Shes not in the mood, because you werent in the mood, and youre in a wife beater watching Sports Center and not coming through.

Whatever you say, follow through!! If you do, she will, too.

Dropping The Ego

The number one thing to do to drop the ego is to listen. If youre listening, youre dropping the ego. Every time you listen, ask yourself, Ok, am I actively listening, or is there a time when I interrupt and defend myself. Every time you interrupt, its your ego defending itself. Every single time you go into defense mode and you want to defend yourself, drop it. Realize that your ego wants to defend your actions, and just let it go.

Thats a huge lesson. If you can embrace that one little thing, everything else is going to be so much easier because it means youre really evolving as a person. Youre becoming an accepting person of yourself and accepting person of your partner. Youre no longer blaming them for things that go wrong, youre taking full responsibility for yourself, and youre finally actively listening.

So when youre about to react, take a time out. Write it down. I was about to react today because she accused me of doing these things. Now think, Why did she accuse me? Have I not been doing it? Have I not been holding up my end of the bargain? Start taking responsibility for it.

Unless youre with somebody thats a nagger 24-7, in which case, that relationship is doomed to begin with and you dont even need to be in that relationship.

When you really start taking responsibility, youre going to really start dropping that ego. Youre going to be admitting that youre not perfect and that its ok to not be perfect, and youre going to finally accept yourself. Once you do that, youre going to start taking things a little more lightly and youre not going to be so amped up and youre really going to start enjoying things more.

So thats a big lesson. Instead of listing eight things, if people can go and do this one thing, Ive seen relationships unbelievably and exponentially grow in communicating and relating to each other, including myself.

One of my clients kept telling me all the time, my girlfriend keeps telling me that I never do this anymore. I never take her out. But I kept saying, yes I do, we went out to dinner last week. He would defend himself and they would fight over and over. So I looked at him and said, where did you take her the first three months?

He said, I took her to concerts, I took her dancing. And when I asked him where he was taking her now, he answered, we go grab dinner at the local thai place or the little Italian place down the street.