Michael OMara Books - Super Hot Jokes For Cool Kids!

Compiled and edited by Samantha Barnes, Chris Maynard and Matthew Morgan Illustrations by Martin Chatterton First published as an electronic edition in Great Britain in 2014 by Buster Books, an imprint of Michael OMara Books Limited,
9 Lion Yard, Tremadoc Road, London SW4 7NQ This book contains material previously published in the following print editions: Hot Jokes for Cool Kids!, The Best Jokes in the Universe, Laugh Your Head Off!, The Worlds Dumbest Jokes, More Dumb Jokes for Smart Kids. Copyright Buster Books 2001, 2002, 2004 and 2014 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. eISBN: 978-1-78055-344-3 www.busterbooks.co.uk
Buster Childrens Books
@BusterBooks When the astronaut returned from an expedition to the Moon, he was asked what the food was like on the trip. The food was good, he said. What do you get if you cross an astronaut with a hot drink? Gravi-tea. What do you get if you cross an astronaut with a hot drink? Gravi-tea.

At school one day, Billys parents were proud to hear that their son would make a great astronaut. Is it because Billy does so well in science class? they asked. No, replied the teacher. Its because he always has his head in the clouds. What game do spacemen like to play during their orbits through space? Astro-nauts and crosses. What do you get if you cross a wizard with an astronaut? A flying sorcerer. Why are astronauts so good at subtraction lessons in school? Because theyre always preparing to count down. Mother: Do you think my daughter would make a good astronaut? Teacher: Well, she is always staring into space. Where do space monks live? In a Moon-astery. What do you get if you cross a spaceman with a donkey? An ass-tronaut. What food do astronauts like best? Nuclear fission and chips. Why do astronauts never eat after take-off? Because they have just had a big launch. Why did the out-of-work astronaut bang his head against the wall? Because he wanted to see stars. How do you know when an astronaut is homesick? She moons about all over the place. What did the astronaut find cooking in his frying pan? An Unidentified Frying Object. How did the dumb astronaut plan to become the first person to land on the Sun? He was going to travel at night. What do you get if you travel in a spaceship with a toad? Star Warts. Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches? In their launch boxes. What do astronauts take when they suffer from travel sickness in space? Planet-cetamol. Did you hear about the astronaut who saw a cake floating in space? It was a Bun-identified Flying Object. What music do astronauts like to listen to in deep space? Rock-et n Roll. Why did people avoid the angry astronaut? They were afraid he might blast off. Did you hear about the man who was captured by extra-terrestrial teddy bears? He had a close encounter of the furred kind. What starts working only when it has been fired? A rocket. What do astronauts wear at weddings? Space-suits. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missile-toe. Why was the astronaut too afraid to travel into outer space? Because he suffered from atmos-fear. Why did the bottles of tomato ketchup go up in a rocket? Because they wanted to be flying sauces. Where does Luke Skywalker go for Italian food? To Jabba the Pizza Hut. What is an astronauts favourite boardgame? Moon-opoly. Did you hear about the astronaut who stayed up all night to work out what happened to the Sun after it set? It suddenly dawned on him. Which space hero spends a lot of time in the toilet? Flush Gordon. Why dont astronauts keep their jobs very long? Because as soon as theyre ready to start, theyre fired. What is the quickest way to get a baby astronaut to sleep? Rock-et. Darth Vader: Luke Skywalker, I know what you are getting for your birthday. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I felt your presence.Where do astronauts get permits to land their spaceships? At parking meteors. What do astronauts like to spread on their toast? Mars-malade. What sweets do astronauts like to eat? Martian-mallows. Which Star Wars character likes to play music? Luke Sky-walkman. Why couldnt the rich astronaut buy a planet? Because it cost the Earth. What did the space monster say to the alien when it spotted two astronauts in a space buggy? Yum... meals on wheels. Where do martians go to celebrate after they are married? On their honeyearth. What was the martians favourite sweets? Mars Bars. What do you call a martian spaceship that drips water? A crying saucer. Why was the two-headed alien top of the class at school? Because two heads are better than one. What was the first thing ETs mother said when he arrived home? Where on Earth have you been? Whats slimey, green and highly dangerous? An alien with a bazuka. I have 5 eyes, 3 ears and a yellow nose. I have 5 eyes, 3 ears and a yellow nose.

What am I? Very ugly! What is the best thing to do if you come across a green alien? Put it in a warm place until its ripe. What is a martians normal eyesight? 20-20-20-20. Why did the space monster think the martian was envious? Because it was green. What do alien pilots learn at night school? How to navigate through black holes. Why are humans so keen to hire aliens to help tend their gardens? Because they have green fingers. What happened when the alien ate uranium? He got a-tomic ache. What game do space monsters play with rockets that have been launched into the universe? Shuttle-cocks. What lights do martians use to see into black holes? Sate-llites. What do you call a ketchup bottle hurtling through space? A flying sauce-er. Why do aliens never starve in space? Because they always know where to find a Mars, a Galaxy and a Milky Way. What do you call a fat martian? An extra-cholesterol. What do you give an alien suffering from a headache? Paraceta-Moons. What do you call a martian dog? A Moon-grel. What game do martian children play on lunar craters?