H.G. Tudor - Fuel: What Makes the Narcissist Function?

FUEL

BY

H G TUDOR

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2015

Fuel

By

H G Tudor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Published by Insight Books

Dedications

To the appliances. May you always remain efficient and productive.

All hail the Hoover.

Introduction

I am a narcissist and I am providing you with unrivalled insight into the very thing that we exist for. The holy grail of our reason for being here. The central core to our existence. Nowhere else will you gain such an insight into the behaviour of someone like me along with those of our kind. You may find parts of reading this uncomfortable. I offer no apology (of course you will be used to that) for that being the case. I do not wrap up what I write in euphemism or shirk from telling you precisely why my kind and me do as we do. You need to know this and you will find it easier to comprehend (even if it leaves you aghast) when it is delivered to you in a straight fashion.

You may be aware that you are in a relationship with a narcissist. If so, you have made a sensible step in reading this book to learn about what drives him or her on. This understanding will not only enable you to make sense of things which mystified you before, but it will also provide you with the opportunity to take steps to protect yourself. There are ways of managing and dealing with the narcissist that you have become entangled with.

You may not realise you are doing the dance with the narcissist. You may have reached this book through recommendation, or the blurb intrigued you or you might just have found the cover enticing. I should imagine however that is likely that you find yourself engaged in a relationship with someone (be it familial, intimate, a friend or work-related) and you cannot make sense of his or her behaviour. You apply logic to ascertaining why people act in the way that they do. You approach matters in a rational fashion and as a consequence you are perplexed at the behaviour that you are witnessing. That is understandable. Whilst we are methodical and scheming we do not operate to the same value systems as you. We do not reside in the same world as you since we create a different world where we rule and the rules are we. The application of rational thought will not help you solve the problem that you face. Reading this book and my other titles will give you the insight that you require so that you are able to make sense of what you are dealing with. Thus armed with this knowledge you are able to take the appropriate action.

I have heard all the plaintive questions before. Why are they so charming one day and so horrible the next? Why do they boast and seek compliments so frequently? Why do they appear to be at war with the world, always provoking arguments and seeking to upset people? How on earth can somebody live like that? Surely they can see that it is not a pleasant way to live? Surely they must wonder why they lose friends, lose jobs and are not invited by people to social events? Why must they behave like that?

The answer comes down to one word; fuel. It is all about the fuel. Fuel is what we must have and it is this precious commodity that is the root cause of the bizarre behaviour that you witness and indeed that affects you, often at a terrible cost to you. The individual who you have become enmeshed with, is in all likelihood a narcissist and they need fuel like you need the air that you breathe. By reading and understanding what this fuel is and the role it plays, you will begin to understand why this person acts this way and what you might do about it.

What is fuel? If you regard the word in its sense as a noun it is a material that is burned to produce heat or power. Expanding on this, one would regard fuel as those materials that store potential energy in forms that can be practicably released and used for work or as heat energy. There are many types of fuel. The oldest and most obvious is wood. The combustion of wood by our ancestors occurred around two million years ago. From that moment we have developed fuels to warm and to cook.

After that, fuel became required to power. Wood, peat and dung were all burned. Coal arrived and was used by the Chinese but when the British developed the steam engine, coal became more widely used as a power source. Coal drove ships and locomotives and its gas was used for street lighting. Thereafter, coal was used to generate electricity. Gaseous fuels such as hydrogen and propane have been developed. Liquid fuels have revolutionised transport and created massive wealth through diesel, kerosene and gasoline.

Biofuels have been developed and then nuclear fuel, which can be burned by fission or fusion to create nuclear energy. Food is a fuel. We need it to sustain us as human beings. All around you and I is the need for fuel. The world demands more and more fuel and entire industries exist in the development of new fuels, the extraction of existing ones and increasing the efficiency of them also. Fuel is central to humankinds existence. Without fuel we will starve, become cold and lose an array of comforts, entertainments, services and necessities that are all made possible through the provision of fuel. It is absolutely fundamental to our existence. This is even more so with regard to the existence of my kind and me.

Accordingly, fuel as a noun is central to the worlds population. That is its importance.

It is central to my kind and me. Without it, we too would not survive. I am not talking about food, coal or gasoline. I am referring to the fuel that the narcissist requires each and every day. It is perhaps even better understood by considering fuel as a verb.

To cause (a fire) to burn more intensely

We need fuel. We need to fuel the fire that burns inside of us. Fuel as a noun and as a verb is critical to us. It is absolutely essential. You need air to breathe. We need our fuel to exist and prosper. I cannot emphasise just how crucial fuel is to my kind and me. Accordingly, I am going to share with you my direct and forthright observations as to what our fuel is. Why do we need it? How do we gather it? What is your role in the provision of this fuel? How do we approach the harvesting of fuel? What are out methodologies? Why do we act in a certain way because of the need for fuel? How are others affected by our demands for fuel? To understand what our fuel is and why we need it in such voracious quantities is to better understand the narcissist. It will also enable you to fathom out why you are such an attraction to the narcissist and possibly what you may be able to do to change that. Understanding our relationship with fuel is central to understanding how a narcissist operates and exists. Above all we abide by the concept that fuel is the rule.

What is our fuel?

There is the concept of narcissistic supply. I suspect you will be familiar with this phrase. This is regarded as a type of admiration, interpersonal support or sustenance drawn by an individual from his or her environment and essential to their self-esteem. I understand that somebody called Otto Fenichel developed the concept. That appears to be the technical way that it is regarded. I prefer to call it fuel, not only is the word fuel more appropriate in terms of what it does for me, it is easier to type than keep repeating narcissistic supply. As, you know by now, I am all about looking at ways of saving energy.

People read the phrase narcissistic supply and I know they will automatically attach a prejudicial label to the phrase because they have seen the word narcissistic. This immediately conjures up connotations of selfishness, entitlement, haughtiness and a lack of caring about anyone else. By replacing narcissistic supply with the word fuel we create a less prejudicial approach to understanding what it is that I need. We also do the same in understanding what you need. Yes, you need fuel as well. You see, if I suggested that you needed narcissistic supply, I should imagine that many of you would shake your heads and deny that to be the case.