Ryan Thomas - 10 Steps to Longer Sex: A Book for Men on Improving Pleasure and Delaying Ejaculation

10 STEPS TO LONGER SEX:

A Book for Men on Improving Pleasure and Prolonging Ejaculation

Authored by Ryan Thomas

Edited by Chris Solaczek and Peter deVietien

Ryan Thomas is a Sex and Masculinity consultant for men

and Host/Founder of the Modern SexTalks Podcast at

http://www.modernsextalks.com/

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It can be downloaded by clicking here: https://modernsextalks.leadpages.co/10stepstolongersex/

Cover Art by JP Chau

(and its not a roosterhint on page 6)

Copyright 2016 Ryan Thomas.

All rights reserved

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Id like to acknowledge Veronica Chase, the co-Founder of Modern SexTalks and The Intimate Lifestyle. You have one of the purest hearts Ive ever encountered. If it was not for your support during my most insecure and fearful moments, I would not be where I am. I am truly blessed to have you as friend; my sista from another mista.

Id also like to acknowledge Phil Mistlberger, author of Rude Awakening. Your training and leadership have changed my life. The shadows you helped me face have undoubtedly made me stronger, and given me the tools for a more fulfilled life.

And lastly, a big thank you is deserved to Connor Beaton, Founder of the ManTalks community. It was through the support, accountability, and community of the ManTalks Mastermind that helped me find clarity and strength to pursue my passion and purpose. From the Mastermind, I realized that my strength comes from the men and people who I surround myself with, and I was able to experience that first hand. My success is directly related to how I feed those relationships, and I intend to feed them well. Thank you for creating and welcoming me into the ManTalks community.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Ive written this book with the specific intention of keeping it light. Almost as if youre at the pub talking with an older brother or mentor whos sharing with you all the stuff hes learned.

As such, the structure of this book may seem quite simple. I like it that way. I just want to convey my message. No need for an elaborate vehicle. Im just structuring this book in the way that it makes most sense to me.

Also, this topic can often be quite emotionally charged. As such youll hear spatterings of childish humour for shits and giggles and to release that tension. Take the content of this book seriously, but remember to take the book lightly. If you cant take this book lightly, then the pressure that comes from cumming too quickly will be way too much to handle.

I will give you a heads up that I dont really pull any punches in this book. Im a straightforward kind of person, and youll find that here. As such, Ill be broaching a few ideas that may make you feel uncomfortable, angry, upset, etc. So be prepared to read some things that may be a little unsettling.

I also need to clarify that I dont want anyone feeling guilty about how they play in the bedroom. This book isnt designed to tell men that they suck if they only last for 30 seconds. If that is currently the case, then there are other options to making sex amazing aside from lasting longer.

But, if a man wants to last longer so that HE can experience more pleasure, and ADD to the types of pleasure his partner experiences, then this is the right book to be reading.

For the purposes of this book, when I say involuntary ejaculation, Im referring to pretty much any time you want to last longer, be that after 30 seconds or 20 minutes.

Also, this book is designed to massively improve your pleasure and orgasms. Dont rub the book on your dick. Thats not what I mean. I mean the skills and exercises in here will make you question how the hell you could have missed out on how amazing orgasms and sex truly are. Youll never look at pleasure and orgasm the same way again.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the book. I think it flows nicely. Ive tried and tested every element in this book, and read numerous books and articles that support my experience (and that I used in my journey). I reference a few in here. And several books on multiple orgasms for men focus heavily on moving energy and Taoist practices. Although Ive become quite interested in this field, I felt it best to stay as pragmatic as possible, without incorporating too much energy talk (even though its something Ive found an interest in.)

Ive also spoken with several professionals in the field and this is similar information to what they give. I did find, however, that there were consistently a few key elements that were left untouched by everyone I spoke to. They are covered here.

Flip around to whichever chapter seems most interesting at this moment. I do recommend doing the exercises. Otherwise its just mental masturbation. I want you to actually masturbate or have sex. Both would be perfect.

This is about as comprehensive, and concise, as I can get in an easy to read book. Enough Introduction. Enjoy the book. Do the exercises. Have better sex.

Men, Sex and Involuntary Ejaculation

The facts. Men on average only last about 5 minutes in penetrative sex. Women more commonly than not, need a lot more vaginal stimulation than that to reach orgasm. That doesnt mean that if youre lasting less than 5 minutes that you cant be a great lover or partner, or that she doesnt love you. But, in all honesty, it does mean that your sex life is limited.

Some people call it premature ejaculation. A better way to call it would be involuntary ejaculation, and we can credit Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity , for that term. Men can experience involuntary ejaculation for several reasons. Maybe theyre nervous or anxious, theyre out of touch with their arousal, or theyre not sure how to control their sensitivity. Other reasons could be a bit deeper and more on an unconscious level.

Maybe theyre a bit selfish and feel vindictive. This sentiment can stem from unconscious thoughts of I dont care about you, so Im just going to get what I want. Or You dont deserve what I can give you, so Im only going to give you a little taste. I dive into this kind of mindset later.

Or they could be experiencing self-worth challenges. Thoughts that could plague their mind might be like, Im not worthy of your attention. Youre so much hotter than me Ill just finish quickly cause I dont deserve your time.

You can relax though. A man who knows how to touch a woman, create sexual tension, support her, and use his mouth and hands to bring her to orgasm, but experiences involuntary ejaculation, will always be a better lover than a man whos a selfish lover, but can pound away for hours.

And, sex isnt about the orgasm. NEWSFLASH! Its about the act itself. Ask yourself, if you could only either: have sex for as long as you want and still experience loads of pleasure (pun intended) but no ejaculatory orgasm OR have an ejaculatory orgasm but last less than 30 seconds, for the rest of your life, which would you choose? Personally, I would choose the former. Im assuming that youd choose the same. If not, then put this book down, cause its not for you.

Some men have linked sex with orgasm, which is why they can finish so quickly. Other men have linked sex with anxiety, which causes tension, which increases the speed at which a man will finish. But if sex is linked to play and fun, then it can last longer, because playtime is fun. And you cant have fun if youre stressed.

Lets put all this to rest and jump in. Regardless of your reasoning for having this book, theres something here that will benefit you. Lets be honest. Longer sex is better than short sex (unless youre going for a quickie) because you get to feel more pleasure for longer!