Joe Kerz - The Big Book of Dad Jokes: 800 Unbearable, Groan-Inducing One-Liners, Puns, and Riddles to Make You the King of Subpar Comedy

Copyright 2022 by Racehorse Publishing All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Racehorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018. Racehorse Publishing books may be purchased in bulk at special discounts for sales promotion, corporate gifts, fund-raising, or educational purposes. Special editions can also be created to specifications. For details, contact the Special Sales Department, Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018 or .

Racehorse Publishing is a pending trademark of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., a Delaware corporation. Visit our website at www.skyhorsepublishing.com. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file. Cover design by Kai Texel Cover illustration by Getty Images Interior art by iStockphoto ISBN: 978-1-63158-662-0 E-Book ISBN: 978-1-63158-665-1 Printed in the United States of America Portions of the book were previously published as Dad Jokes (ISBN: 978-1-63158-372-8) and Really Bad Dad Jokes (ISBN: 978-1-63158-513-5) CONTENTS INTRODUCTION Fatherhood is never easy. Try as you might to be there for your kids, you wont always succeed. However, they can always count on you to be there with the dads most useful tool: the Dad Joke! Dad Jokes can always be used to embarrass and antagonize your children, eliciting the classic eye-roll, face-palm, and the occasional exclamation of DAD!after all, isnt it a dads main purpose in life to torment their children with puns in public? Whether youre an expert pun-maker or a novice, youll never run out of embarrassing riddles and puns with The Big Book of Dad Jokes ! This compendium of the most groan-worthy jokes and one-liners will be sure to induce the reactions that you live for (even though they make your children die a little inside).

Be prepared for any and every situation with a handy quip. Passing by a graveyard? I bet people are just dying to get in! Having pizza for dinner? Never mind those jokes are just too cheesy . Youll never run out of opportunities to make your family wish theyd just left you at home! So, grab your goggles and swim trunks and dive on into this book thats perfect for any father, young or old! Youll learn everything you need to know about mastering the art of the Dad Joke and unleashing your embarassing humor upon your family and the world. JOKES W HAT DID THE POLICEMAN SAY TO HIS BELLY BUTTON ? Youre under a vest! Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy! Why did Billy throw the clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly! W HAT DO LAWYERS WEAR TO COURT ? Lawsuits! What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway! What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed! W HAT DO YOU CALL A BELT WITH A WATCH ON IT ? A waist of time! How do you find a Princess? You follow the foot Prince. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match! Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks! W HY SHOULDN T YOU WRITE WITH A BROKEN PENCIL ? Because its pointless! Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash! What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck! H OW DO YOU MAKE A TISSUE DANCE ? Put a little boogey in it! What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! Why was the students report card wet? It was below C level! Why wouldnt the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish! What do you call bears with no ears? B. H OW MANY TICKLES DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE AN O CTOPUS LAUGH ? Ten-tickles. H OW MANY TICKLES DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE AN O CTOPUS LAUGH ? Ten-tickles.