Cloud Henry - Boundaries When to Say Yes, When to Say

T he alarm jangled. Bleary-eyed from too little sleep, Sherrie shut off the noisy intruder, turned on the bedside lamp, and sat up in bed. Looking blankly at the wall, she tried to get her bearings.

Why am I dreading this day? Lord, didnt you promise me a life of joy?

Then, as the cobwebs left her mind, Sherrie remembered the reason for her dread: the four-oclock meeting with Todds third-grade teacher. The phone call returned to her memory: Sherrie, this is Jean Russell. I wonder if we could meet about Todds performance and his behavior.

Todd couldnt keep still and listen to his teachers. He didnt even listen to Sherrie and Walt. Todd was such a strong-willed child, and she didnt want to quench his spirit. Wasnt that more important?

Well, no time to worry about all that, Sherrie said to herself, raising her thirty-five-year-old body off the bed and padding to the shower. Ive got enough troubles to keep me busy all day.

Under the shower, Sherries mind moved out of first gear. She began mentally ticking off the days schedule. Todd, nine, and Amy, six, would have been a handful even if she werent a working mother.

Lets see fix breakfast, pack two lunches, and finish sewing Amys costume for the school play. That will be a trickfinishing sewing the costume before the car pool picks her up at 7:45 a.m.

Sherrie thought regretfully about last night. Shed planned to work on Amys costume then, using her talents to make a special day for her little girl. But her mother had dropped over unexpectedly. Good manners dictated that she play hostess, and another evening was shot. The memories of her attempts to salvage the time werent pretty.

Trying to be diplomatic, Sherrie artfully told her mother, You cant imagine how much I enjoy your surprise visits, Mom! But I was wondering, would you mind if I sew Amys costume while we talk? Sherrie cringed inwardly, correctly anticipating her mothers response.

Sherrie, you know Id be the last to intrude on your time with your family. Sherries mother, widowed for twelve years, had elevated her widowhood to the status of martyrdom. I mean, since your father died, its been such an empty time. I still miss our family. How could I deprive you of that for yourself?

Ill bet I find out how, Sherrie thought to herself.

Thats why I can understand why you dont bring Walt and the children to see me much anymore. How could I be entertaining? Im just a lonely old lady who gave her entire life to her children. Who would want to spend any time with me?

No, Mom, no, no, no! Sherrie quickly joined the emotional minuet she and her mom had been dancing for decades. Thats not what I meant at all! I mean, its so special having you over. Goodness knows, with our schedule, wed like to visit more, but we just havent been able to. Thats why Im so glad you took the initiative! Lord, dont strike me dead for this little lie, she prayed silently.

In fact, I can do the costume any old time, Sherrie said. Forgive me for this lie, too. Now, why dont I make us some coffee?

Her mother sighed. All right, if you insist. But Id just hate to think Im intruding.

The visit lasted well into the night. By the time her mother left, Sherrie felt absolutely crazy, but she justified it to herself. At least Ive helped make her lonely day a little brighter. Then a pesky voice piped up. If you helped so much, why was she still talking about her loneliness when she left? Trying to ignore the thought, Sherrie went to bed.

Sherrie returned to the present. No use crying over spilt time, I guess, she mumbled to herself as she struggled to close the zipper of her black linen skirt. Her favorite suit had become, as many others had, too tight. Middle-age spread so soon? she thought. This week, I really have to go on a diet and start exercising.

The next hour was, as usual, a disaster. The kids whined about getting out of bed, and Walt complained, Cant you get the kids to the table on time?

Miraculously, the kids made it to their rides, Walt left for work in his car, and Sherrie went out and locked the front door after her. Taking a deep breath, she prayed silently, Lord, Im not looking forward to this day. Give me something to hope for. In her car on the freeway, she finished applying her makeup. Thank the Lord for traffic jams.

Rushing into McAllister Enterprises where she worked as a fashion consultant, Sherrie glanced at her watch. Only a few minutes late. Maybe by now her colleagues understood that being late was a way of life for her and did not expect her to be on time.

She was wrong. Theyd started the weekly executive meeting without her. Sherrie tried to tiptoe in without being noticed, but every eye was on her as she struggled into her seat. Glancing around, she gave a fleeting smile and muttered something about that crazy traffic.

The rest of Sherries morning proceeded fairly well. A talented fashion designer, Sherrie had an unerring eye for attractive clothing and was a valuable asset to McAllister. The only hitch came just before lunch.

Her extension rang. Sherrie Phillips.

Sherrie, thank goodness youre there! I dont know what Id have done if youd been at lunch! There was no mistaking this voice. Sherrie had known Lois Thompson since grade school. A high-strung woman, Lois was always in crisis. Sherrie had always tried to make herself available to Lois, to be there for her. But Lois never asked Sherrie how she was doing, and when Sherrie mentioned her struggles, Lois either changed the subject or had to leave.

Sherrie genuinely loved Lois and was concerned about her problems, but Lois seemed more like a client than a friend. Sherrie resented the imbalance in their friendship. As always, Sherrie felt guilty when she thought about her anger at Lois. As a Christian, she knew the value the Bible placed on loving and helping others. There I go again, she would say to herself. Thinking of myself before others. Please, Lord, let me give to Lois freely and not be so self-centered.

Sherrie asked, Whats the matter, Lois?

Its horrible, just horrible, Lois said. Anne was sent home from school today, Tom was denied his promotion, and my car gave out on the freeway!

This is what my lifes like every day! Sherrie thought to herself, feeling the resentment rising. However, she merely said, Lois, you poor thing! How are you coping with all of this?

Lois was happy to answer Sherries question in great detailso much detail that Sherrie missed half her lunch break consoling her friend. Well, she thought, fast foods better than no food.

Sitting at the drive-through waiting for her chicken burger, Sherrie thought about Lois. If all my listening, consoling, and advice had made any difference over the years, maybe it would be worth it. But Lois makes the same mistakes now that she made twenty years ago. Why do I do this to myself?

Sherries afternoon passed uneventfully. She was on the way out of the office to the teachers meeting when her boss, Jeff Moreland, flagged her down.